


We All Look The Same In The Dark

by Briancoxsspacepjs



Series: Thoughtful Angels and Spoon Benders [2]
Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Cutesy, Fluff, M/M, a little angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2014-08-22
Packaged: 2018-02-14 06:31:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2181528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Briancoxsspacepjs/pseuds/Briancoxsspacepjs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vaguely Linked to An Angels First Kiss, but is a stand alone piece.</p><p>The day has finally come. The day the whole world shall learn about Mutant kind. But how will this effect Charles's and Erik's new budding relationship? Can Erik change for Charles? If so, Can Charles except the new Erik? But most of all, Can Erik forgive himself for what he has done?</p>
            </blockquote>





	We All Look The Same In The Dark

Us turning on each other, it's what they want. I tried to warn you, Charles. I want you by my side. We're brothers, you and I. All of together, protecting each other. We want the same thing.  
My friend. I'm sorry, but we do not.

~  
Sunlight streamed through the window onto the figures that lay in the bed. Charles nuzzled deeper into the hard warm pillow while mumbling, ‘5 more minutes Nanny’. But his comfortable pillow thought his half sleepy remark so funny that it kept moving up and down in silent laughter. Charles opened up his sleepy eyes and looked up at his grinning bed partner.  
‘Guten Morgan Engel, You sleep well?’ Erik asked his sleepy Charles. His body clock always woke him at sunrise, he used to get up for an early morning run but since joining Charles’ bed, he’d taken to enjoying sleeping in if he could, he liked to stay in bed, waiting for Charles to stir. At Erik’s question Charles gave him a sleepy grin.  
‘I slept well, thank you, but…’ Reality quickly took a hold of Charles ‘Today’s the day isn’t?’ he asked. Erik gripped him closer and kissed the top of his head. ‘I’m afraid so Engel, todays the day the world changes.’

~

It had all gone wrong. Both the plane and submarine had crashed and were not fit for any purpose ever again; mutants were injured on both sides, and now Erik had gone slightly crazy on his own vendetta. Charles tried not to think of the actions he performed minutes ago, killing Shaw the way he did with Charles still fully in his mind. The pain, panic and fear he’d felt then, compared to what he was feeling now, paled in comparison. Erik, wearing the blasted helmet, was going to kill hundreds for innocent lives because of his past with men just following orders. No Charles wasn’t going to let Erik do this, he had to be stopped. He tried to tackle him, pulling his focus away from the missiles, but it wasn’t enough; Erik was still in control. He looked up at Erik from his place on the sand.  
‘Please don’t do this Erik. I love you.’ The missiles faulted slightly at Charles’s words, but again it wasn’t enough. Erik looked over to him. ‘I’m sorry my Engel.’ Pure sadness was showing in his eyes.

Before Charles could try again, shots rang out across the beach. Moira was shooting at Erik, but as he stood up to try and stop the fight, he felt a searing pain in his back and collapsed back to the sand in a cry of shock and anguish. Erik turned around at Charles cry, forgetting instantly of the missiles he was so determined seconds earlier were to kill the innocent, instead putting all his focus on the now injured Charles. He ran to Charles’s side, appearing there almost instantly, as quickly as his legs could carry him. He caught Charles before he could fully hit the sand. Putting one hand on the small of Charles’s back, he removed the fated embedded bullet. The bombs blew up in the air after Erik’s intense hold was moved from them, to the relief of the previously unfortunate souls on board, but Erik paid no heed to the sounds of exploding bombs or the cried relief of safety; his only thoughts where of Charles and the pain he was in.  
‘I’m so sorry, so sorry my Engel.’ Sorrow filled Erik’s eyes as he held a whimpering Charles in his arms, close to his chest. The rest of the team tried to come to Charles’s aid, ‘Back Off!’ Erik shouted at them. Only he was allowed to help Charles. Charles was his and his only. Erik looked down to Charles, who was trying to control the pain he was in but failing miserably. Erik looked up at Moira, anger filled his eyes.  
‘You, you did this.’ Erik raised his hand, starting to choke her on her own dog tags. Charles looked up to Erik. ‘Please love, stop. She didn’t do this, you did Erik.’ Erik looked down at Charles, sadness filing his eyes again, dropping Moira from hold and bringing his hand down to caress Charles’s face.  
‘Can’t you see Engel.’ Erik told Charles keeping his tears at bay. ‘Us turning on each other, that’s what they want. I tried to warn you.’ There Erik paused, swallowing a tearful lump that had formed in his throat. ‘Engel, I want you by my side. We’re more than brothers you and I, we’re lovers and with all of us together protecting one and other we could be unstoppable. We want the same thing.’ He looked hopefully into Charles’ teary eyes. While Charles looked at Erik and said with a painful smile, and with a weak chuckle ‘Oh my dear love, I’m sorry but we do not.’ 

Erik stared down at Charles as a small tear fell from the corner of his eye and down his cheek, while Charles looked up at him with unshed tears drowning in his eyes, not covering up the ill hidden sorrow and pain. Charles shakily sighed. Erik lifted his hand to pet Charles’s, now sand stained shaggy brown hair and let a tearful smile settle on his lips. ‘Well then.’ Erik said, taking his hand away from Charles’s face and removing Shaw’s helmet from his head, ‘It looks like I will have to change my ways for you my Engel.’

~

It had been a week now since the Cuba incident and Erik kept to his promise and followed every one of Charles’s orders and rules to the letter. Most people thought it was because of the guilt he had over what happened that fated day on Cuba, but if you didn’t know Erik you wouldn’t of believed he had powers. Before the incident he had used his power as regularly and often as he could; from small things to big, from Frying pans and cutlery to huge telescopes! But Charles had sustained serious spine injuries resulting in him needing a wheel chair and the guilt ate at Erik. Charles was permanently injured because of his actions. He barely allowed Erik to see him let alone near him.

Quite soon after the ‘Incident’ Charles wiped Moira’s mind for the safety of the mutants under his care; so he became a recluse in his study. Only Hank and Raven really saw him. Raven decided after to stay after everything that had happened and Angel had returned to their side too. Charles had made the offer to Janos and Azazel which, to Erik’s surprise, they took up. Erik abandoned Shaws’ stupid helmet on the beach that day. He wanted to show to Charles that he could be trusted and that he was Erik’s first priority, no matter what. The young mutants still where very much afraid of Erik after this actions on the beach and Shaws’ mutant crew were wary of him, as they didn’t know what to make of him. So just like Charles, Erik became more and more private; locking himself up in his room; sometimes not even coming out for food. So just like Charles, Erik became a recluse. Except no one visited Erik. Except for Raven, but those visits were far and few between and she only came to talk about how Charles was doing.

~

One day while Erik was in his room, lying on his bed deep in thought about Charles, a knock sounded against his door. He already knew who the uninvited guest was, seeing as only one person ever visited; Erik sat up on his bed and sighed. He looked towards the door and said loudly enough, so the person on the other side of the door could hear, ‘Enter’. Not to his surprise Raven entered all in her beautiful blue glory. When she shut the door Erik inquired, ‘What can I do for you?’

Raven looked at Erik, well at the wreck he had become. Two months had passed since the ‘incident’ and they hadn’t been kind him. His hair was longer than it was when she’d last got a proper look at him, that was about three weeks ago, and she could spot how his clothes now bagged on him as, far as she knew, he barely ate, if he did it would be in the dead of night when all the other occupants in the house where fast asleep. Dark shadows clung to the underneath of Erik’s eyes highlighting the fact that the sleep he got was far and few between and not restful, like someone else she knew who was being stubborn fool like Erik. But she hadn’t come here to criticize the state Erik had place himself in, no she had big important news. 

‘I have news for you on Charles.’ She said in response to Erik’s question. Erik’s head snapped up, now all his focus and energy was placed onto Raven. ‘Is he ok?’ Erik asked, worriedly. Raven smirked a little. ‘Peachy but I’m here to tell you some good news.’ She paused, waiting to see if she would get a response. Erik stayed silent, so she carried on. ‘If Hanks calculations are correct, which Charles and Hank are 99% sure they are, Charles is going to be able to walk again very soon.’

A tense silence fell between the two of them. Eventually Erik stood, still looking at Raven. ‘Can I see him? Where is he?’ He began to walk forward, passed Raven, but she stopped him with her hand. Erik looked questioningly at her. ‘You can’t see him.’ As Erik began to protest, she hushed him and carried on. ‘Because he’s in his final operation now, to fix his spine that will let him walk again. Charles didn’t want to let you know till it was too late in case you tried to stop him.’ She paused again as Erik moved away from her and sat in his bed. ‘I wasn’t supposed to tell you until this, his final procedure, was over but I thought you like to know a little sooner.’

Again an awkward silence settled between the two of them, it finished with Erik asking the questions that filled his mind. ‘How long had this been going on? The operations? The planning?’ Erik looked to the floor, he couldn’t look at Raven. Even though she had told him about this it was very late information and all he wanted was to be at Charles’s side at that moment, holding his hand and whispering sweet nothings to him, telling him that everything was going to be ok, everything will work out because he was a genius and if anyone could do this it would be him, that Erik will be there for him, no matter what, all ways. But no Charles would be getting cut into all for the sake of walking again. Idiot. When Erik saw him again he would….

‘Charles and Hank have been planning it since a week after the ‘incident’ and the operations have been going on for the last month or so. I can’t tell you much because it’s all sciencey and kinda went over my head. But what I do know is that after today’s operation he will able to gain enough strength to walk again, eventually.’

Another short silence before Raven broke it. ‘I must go because I need to be by…’ She stopped herself in mid-sentence not meaning to rub her still close bond with Charles in Erik’s face, but Erik finished the sentence anyway. ‘…Charles’ side to see if he needs a hand to hold?’ He inquired. He wasn’t angry, he just sounded broken to Raven, like he couldn’t handle life’s lessons anymore. ‘Just go Raven. He needs someone there to support and love him.’ ‘Someone like me’ went unsaid but both mutants knew it was implied. Raven turned to leave but not before glancing back at Erik; she wanted to help him, she really did, but this was something Charles and Erik had to sort out between themselves, not forced into. With a small sigh she left closing the door behind her.

When Erik was sure she was gone, he let out a painful sob. He wanted to be with Charles but he couldn’t. His hot tears ran down his cheeks, seeming to burn trails into Erik’s skin. All the pain and sorrow that had been suffocating him since Cuba, all the pain with in him, as he still tried to keep it under lock and key, going around numb, not feeling anything. But now that wall broke, letting all those feeling surface and flow out of him like a waterfall. He lay back on his bed and curled up into a ball of sadness, heartache, self-loathing and anger. All the metal in his room groaned with Erik’s pain. ‘Charles’ Erik said in a croaky broken sob, ‘Charles I love you.’ 

~

Since Raven had come to his room and told him what was actually happening with Charles, Erik made more of an effort to try and locate and talk with him. But trying to find and pin down Charles Xavier seemed like an impossible task. It seemed whenever Erik was just about to find Charles and talk to him, something would all ways turn up. It could be a student with an odd request - with Erik’s consent harmless presence, the rest of the mutants in the household had got used to him again, or an obscure obstacle but whatever it was it was a big enough distraction for Charles to escape Erik’s clutches. It occurred to Erik whenever he ‘zigged’, Charles seemed to ‘Zag’ the opposite way. After a month of trying to track Charles down to talk to him, a whole bleeding month for gods sake – Erik was seething, none of his efforts came to fruition apart from a few short glimpses, Erik thought it was high time he stopped trying. It just wasn’t worth it.

As Erik headed back to his room one day, after another day of failed attempts of seeing Charles, he passed by Charles’s room. Normally it would be a dead silence from his room, a dark silence showing either Charles was not in there or he was fast asleep; in any case it was a big metaphorical ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign, but today it was different. Today his room door was cracked open slightly and Erik could see the lights on. As he moved closer to the door he could hear sounds of Charles’s shower running. 

Erik couldn’t resist temptation and poked his head around the door into the room he used to know so well. It had been just over three months since Erik had last stepped foot in now Charles’s bedroom, he couldn’t really call it theirs anymore now could he? Although he found it had barely changed. A few extra personal items here and there and a lower desk had been put in at assist Charles with his wheelchair but other than that it seemed all the same. Erik smiled. 

But just as he was about to un-poke his head from the door before he got caught, an odd noise caught Erik’s attention; a noise that drifted and carried out from Charles’s private bathroom. At first Erik thought it was Charles singing in the shower, but when he listened harder he realised it was sobs. Charles wasn’t singing, No! The complete opposite, Charles was crying! 

Erik stepped in to Charles’s room and closed the door. He knew he shouldn’t be in here, but Charles was crying and it broke Erik’s heart to hear Charles’s muffled sobs. Erik walked across the bedroom to Charles’s bathroom. The door was slightly ajar and through the slight crack, in the refection of the mirror, Erik could see Charles curled up on the floor of the shower, still fully clothed, with the showers harsh spray beating down on him. Erik let out a small gasp. How could Charles be like this? Shouldn’t he be happy that he could walk again? Last time Erik talked with Raven, the conversation was short and brief, but what he gathered from it was that Charles was on the steady road of recovery and perfectly happy, but obviously that wasn’t the case. 

Erik, trying to keep scaring Charles to a minimum, knocked on the bathroom door. ‘Charles?’ Erik questioned softly. In Charles’s refection Erik saw Charles start. ‘E….Erik?’ Charles looked up at the door. Erik poked his head around the door. Charles looked awful. His hair was longer but not cared for, tattered and tangled even though it was water logged, he was slightly skinnier then Erik remembers and his eyes were bright red from crying. Erik knew he probably didn’t look much better but at least he didn’t have bright red eyes! But that was a little victory. 

‘Charles?’ Erik questioned again. This time Charles looked more annoyed. ‘Get out Erik!’ He said angrily, ‘Just leave me here.’ He added dejectedly placing his head back on his legs.  
‘No’ Erik replied. ‘You’ve been ignoring me long enough I deserve answers Charles.’ Erik stepped more forward into the room. Charles didn’t lift his head but still replied.  
‘Please Erik, just leave me here.’ Erik could hear the broken pain in Charles’s voice and walked over to where Charles was underneath the shower and placed his hand on the side of Charles’s head.  
‘No Engel, I’ve made my choice, I’m never leaving you.’ Erik pushed all his affection he felt about Charles into those words, once he had nearly left Charles’s side but never again. He made his choice all those months ago and it was Charles. Charles lifted his head and met Erik’s eyes, his eyes showing confusion as Erik’s words. ‘I love you Engel, I’m never going to leave you I promise. I shall be by your side till the day I die.’ Erik’s eyes shined with love and affection for Charles, but all Erik could see in Charles’s eyes was sadness.

Charles shifted his gaze. ‘Please Erik Leave!’ Charles paused for a second, slightly leaning into Erik’s comforting touch but then leaning out of it. Before Erik could say anything about it Charles spoke up. ‘I’m not how you remember, I’m…’ A tear slid down Charles’s cheek mixing with the cold water that trickled down his face, ‘I’m hideous now.’ Erik slid his hand down to Charles’s cheek. Hideous? Sure Charles looked a bit ruff, but hideous was going a bit far.  
Erik was confused. ‘Your gorgeous Charles, you look stunning. Yes you look a little scruffy, but I don’t look much better. Please Engel, Why do you think you look…’ Erik paused. He really didn’t want to use this term in relation to Charles, but Charles insisted this was the right word to describe himself. ‘Look Hideous? Please tell me.’

Charles looked up at Erik, the shower still soaking him and now Erik. Erik longed to turn off the persistent raining of cold water off but he didn’t want to aggravate Charles, he was wet now anyway what did a bit more water matter. Charles let out a heavy sigh. ‘You know about the operations that I’ve been having?’ He asked Erik, Erik nodded and replied. ‘Yes Raven told me. You had them so you could walk again.’ Charles sighed again. ‘Yes and it worked. Terrifically in fact as I can stand, walk and run again, complete and full mobility. But.’ Charles stopped. Erik started to panic slightly. ‘But?’ He questioned, trying not to sound too pushy but he was worrying for Charles’s health at the time.  
‘But with the surgery continually happening in the same places and the continual opening and closing of the same wounds left…..marks.’ Charles finished hesitantly. Erik was confused. Marks? What did Charles mean by marks? ‘Engel, I don’t understand.’ 

Charles looked at Erik slightly annoyed. ‘Oh for heaven’s sake, just look would you.’ Charles shifted around so his back was facing Erik then lifted the back of his now clinging shirt up. There in his lower back where four scars. One round scar where Erik knew the fated bullet had entered Charles; one four inch scar vertically going up from the bullet scar and one three inch scar going vertically down from the bullet scar. Then a break of about an inch and grazing the top of Charles’s bottom a six inch horizontal scar.

Erik reached out to trace the scars with his fingers. ‘Oh Engel’ Erik whispered. Oh his silly Charles, did he really think a few scars where going to put Erik off? He loved Charles’s flawless skin, kissing and caressing it all over, it was perfection. But now Erik loved the new addition to Charles’s skin. It showed that he had been through a war and come out the other side mostly unscathed. It showed that Charles wasn’t defeated by his paralyzing accident and fought against it till he found a way he could walk again. It showed Erik that Charles had lived this harsh reality we call life and got to the other side. Now he had permanent marks marring his skin like the ones that were scattered all over his skin and he loved it. All the things he could do to them, caress them in till Charles was completely undone and begging for him. Erik was going to love teasing the raised skin of those scars in till Charles loves them just as much as Erik and even then Erik might still tease Charles ruthlessly over them. Erik didn’t realise he hadn’t said any of this out loud or the fact that Charles was crying again till he spoke up.

‘See I’m Hideous, ugly with these god awful marks I shall never get rid of. I shall forever look dreadful.’ Charles said with tears streaming down his face again.  
Erik couldn’t believe what he was hearing. ‘Oh Engel, No not at all in fact, I’ Erik leaned over and gave the top one a kiss. ‘Love.’ Erik kissed the bullet hole scar. ‘Them.’ Erik leaned down to kiss them third scar. ‘A lot.’ Finally Erik kissed the last scar. ‘In fact.’ Erik sat up and wrapped his arms around Charles’s waist and pulling him flush to his chest. ‘You could say.’ Erik leaned into Charles’s ear, breath tickling the little hairs that covered his ear. ‘I want to pin you down to worship them.’

Charles shivered, ‘Erik please don’t.’ But Erik cut him off with an awkwardly placed kiss on the lips. ‘I love you Charles and I adore your scars.’ Erik picked Charles up bridal style and turned the water off with his much missed powers. He stepped out of the shower with Charles and placed his feet down on the bathroom floor. ‘Now’ Erik spun Charles so he faced him. ‘Let’s get these clothes off before we both catch a cold.’ 

Erik helped undress Charles then undressed himself then pulled Charles to the bedroom, slightly marvelling at how Charles could now walk, and laid his naked body on the bed. Erik got on the bed and laid his body across Charles. Erik let his hands wonder slightly on Charles’s skin letting himself pet, stroke and caress them silky warm skin he had missed dearly. When Erik finished appreciating Charles’s exposed skin he moved his hand to thread his fingers in Charles’s mad hair, while caressing Charles’s face with the palm of his hand and thumb. Love and affection filling both mutants eyes staring at each other longingly.  
‘Always remember Engel, we all look the same in the dark.’ Charles smiled and lifted his had behind Erik’s head. ‘I love you’ He said before dragging Erik’s head down for a long awaited passionate kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my story! Hope you enjoyed reading it. I'd like to give a big thanks to sparkeythehamster who helped Beta my work, so it actually makes sense this time round! Kudos and Comments are always welcome!!!!!


End file.
